by Elizabeth Debold
I’ve decided to create an ongoing series of posts to challenge one of the most popular beliefs of our era: that women have a profoundly different value set than men, and that embracing these particularly feminine values will change the world. Men, and masculine thinking, have dominated the world and made a mess, so now women, and the feminine, are desperately needed to clean it all up. That’s how the story goes. And in postmodern spiritual circles, these traditional qualities of women that are associated with our roles as mothers, wives, and caretakers are often raised to, well, divine status. That’s why I call this the myth of the Divine Feminine.
This isn’t problematic simply because women end up once again with the thankless task of cleaning up after everyone! As I have written before, this way of looking at the world polarizes the masculine and feminine, and men and women, in ways that are simplistic and divisive. Moreover, our ideas of the feminine — representing compassion, feeling, caring, embodiment, nurturing, etc. etc. — are reheated leftovers of the Victorian ideal of the good woman, the “Angel in the House.” We’ve just sexed her up a bit. How can we create a new culture, if our template for women’s role is based on being sexy but “good,” bound to 19th C. ideals of womanhood? Those feminine values that are supposed to change the world are primarily based on women’s age-old roles of relating to sex and reproduction. That can’t possibly lead to anything new between the sexes, can it? If we want to create a new culture, then men and women will have to find a new basis of trust that will be its foundation. Because the relationship between women and men creates the bedrock dynamic upon which any culture stands.
So, here’s my first salvo at the idea that women are inherently different (read: more caring, compassionate, peace loving and just plain good) than men. Check out Cleopatra and the Macedonian queens. (Sounds like the name of a girl band!) In a recent Op-Ed piece in the New York Times, Stacy Schiff comments that Cleopatra, who ruled for 21 years, “was essentially a female king.” Continue reading…