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Egoless Relatedness

When two or more people meet who have awakened to the evolutionary impulse, there is the potential for egoless relatedness. And that is what those of us at the leading edge who want to push the boundaries of our own spiritual development need to discover. We have to find a way to meet one another in a place we’ve never been before, in a higher state of consciousness and a higher stage of development that are unhindered by the influence of the narcissistic ego and the less enlightened values of our modern and postmodern culture. Anyone can experience egoless consciousness in the stillness and solitude of deep meditation. It is easy to be egoless when there’s no relationship. But if we want to catalyze evolution in consciousness and culture, in the world of time and space, we need to make the heroic effort to go beyond ego not only when we are sitting quietly but, most importantly, while we are creatively interacting with one another, in the midst of all the complexity of human life.

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Filed Under: ConsciousnessCultural EvolutionDevelopmentEnlightenNext Editors’ BlogEvolutionary SpiritualityQuote of the WeekScenius

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About the Author

Andrew Cohen is the pioneering teacher of Evolutionary Enlightenment, the founder of international nonprofit organization EnlightenNext, and the Editor in Chief of EnlightenNext magazine. Learn more about his work at

Comments (14)

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  1. Phil Ord says:

    I wonder if terms like ‘evolutionary impulse’ aren’t too ecstatic? Saying that in thinking they might also be ‘mythic’ terms re spirituality and the evolution of consciousness? Hope I’m fairly modern and post-modern too though. Just trying to engage re relationship, as is suggested, and sorry if I might not appear to be so enlightened to you in doing so…


  2. Frank Luke says:

    Hi Phil, re: “Too ecstatic?”

    Begging to differ, can you say that about evolution, already in process, if you haven’t gathered yet?

    Those not acknowledging it’s already happening, though many are still not up to speed yet. There’s a cultural lag with any kind of evolution but it’s undeniable that this is humanity’s future, and the sooner recognition of this, the better!

  3. Nada says:

    I’m always interested in interacting with people who are fearless in allowing and are even actively seeking creative friction through dialogue. It is a rare person who doesn’t contract in defensiveness, but instead, energetically forges a connection no matter what unfolds.

    I recently had a very lively conversation(standing in a parking lot) with a perfect stranger about the lack of freedom to creatively “bump up” against others when so much PC mediocrity is mediating the conversation. We concluded that we shouldn’t be so afraid to interact with spontaneity and levity with our fellow human beings, while maintaining respect for potential perspectives that may not align with our own views. We both parted higher, lighter and smiling with the confirmation that the process of life is good. Here is a “Thank You” to that beautiful person who was evolved enough to care beyond his own petty and separate self-interest!

    Phil Ord, it definitely was “ecstatic!” LOL(;}

    • Frank Luke says:

      Hey Nada!

      What a neat story, and touching atennae in a positive way as you experienced is what human interaction is and should be about in parking lots–here, there and everywhere!

      I believe the Socratic method is a magic technique that works for me to insigate these kinds of encounters. It starts off with the friendly exchange of pleasantries and then begins with a question I’ll pose that shows a wanting to understand something from my interlocutor, something I’m interested in pursuing. It goes on from there as long as time and interest dictate. I think Socrates was brilliant devising this tecnique.

      I think you know all this. Just to say hello, wishing you well. Talk to you again soon!
      Take care, Nada! Namaste, Aloha!

      • Nada says:

        Hi Frank and Phil, When Andrew is speaking of the “intersubjective space” that emerges when individuals are truly responding from their Authentic Self(the Self beyond ego), he is speaking about a space that is filled with both creative essence and loving presence, Eros and Agape, Wisdom and Compassion, the God and Goddess of every persons body, mind and Soul. There are no holes in that space, only Wholeness. True creative insight that forges into the “new”, is always balanced by the centering Ground, because creativity is born of that Ground. Pure Spirit surrounds and permeates all things inseparably and the “innovative new”(ascending force of Eros) is tempered by “love,compassion and humility”(descending force of Agape)that doesn’t allow fragmentation…Agape is the “glue” that holds creative Eros to task, that is, when authenticity is mediating, not ego agenda.

        And when authenticity is present, the intersubjective space between individuals is truly ecstatic!

        LOL! (;}

    • Phil Ord says:

      Hi Nada,

      Glad you had a good experience re this thread(communication and discussion can be an excellent productive thing). Particularly reckon so when those talking – with perhaps spiritual ideas – are also fairly grounded. :-)


  4. jaflmack says:

    Anybody know HOW WE MEET ONE ANOTHER EGOLESS without subjecting ourselves to being usurped by the egos of others nearby? No ego meeting no ego sounds fine. But humanity has never been able to develop a culture that sustains that ideal. And now we are in the midst of having 7 billion humans on this wonderful planet while we are in the midst of destroying the resources that support life here … and that destruction comes from human egos being fed by the power and security of MONEY rather than LOVE. If you agree … contact me with any information you have that helps us transition from this deadly cycle of cultural self-destruction so evident in the history of humanity on this planet. I can also be found at Facebook and Cambridge Who’s Who by my birthname Janet Florence McCormack

  5. Frank Luke says:

    Pondering egoless relatedness, I wonder if

    1) in the Beatles lyrics of “I Am the Walrus”, “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together” is talking about egoless relatedness?

    From where do those words derive?

    2) if seeing things from the other’s point of view may help understanding egoless relatedness?

    To attain understanding and achieving egoless relatedness
    would be an advancement of spiritual development, lacking that would preclude empathy and compassion, no?

  6. Sherry says:

    It’s easy to be peaceful and quiet if you live in a cave and don’t relate to others. Growth and evolution happen in relationships. It is the connection we have to the oneness and God consciousness that helps us remember our own Godliness. Blessings, Sherry

  7. Phil Ord says:

    Hi Frank,

    I have noticed evolution’s in progress. Was trying to make it clear I understand it is culturally for one thing.

    I come from a European tradition and can just wonder if Americans, for one thing, aren’t sometimes too ascending when they discuss spirituality and evolution. Personally I value both ascent and descent re what I hope is a more integrated understanding that doesn’t “accentuate the positive” too much.

    I’m also with Nietzsche re his ‘Birth of Tragedy’ argument that Western culture puts too much emphasis on ‘reason’ with it again having a too ascending view. I feel there should be more of a balance re ascending/descending currents with humility being stressed as a value much more and empathy and deep compassion talked about a lot more.

    I’ve studied transpersonal psychology academically, and I’ve concluded the existentialists have a point when critiquing people who are spiritually-minded. I at the same time recognise the limits of the existentialists’ perspective. I just can like more balance a lot of the time.


  8. Frank Luke says:

    Hi Phil!

    I so appreciate your taking time to respond and share
    your thoughts.

    You’re aware that transcendentalists have the propensity to emphasize ascendency, often denying the body and it’s functions and maybe the dark side of human
    psyche (but with a fascination for evil at the same time).

    Generalizaions are so often focussing on partial views.
    I believe Evolutionary Enlightenment (EE) if I understand it views existence holistically, where every aspect of being is considered and connected to everything else in its great scope and design.

    If I may speak personally, I feel traditional enlightenment has been focussed on individual effort to attain perfection, with the implication that this would benefit humankind by extension whereas EE recognizes the connectivity and collectivity of us and our entire social
    community and biosphere. Without this consciousness, I feel only a very limited view of reality is understood.

    Tell me if you would about your thoughts and where you are at in your own spiritual development.

    Best regards, aloha, namaste!

  9. Josh says:

    I’ve heard that you can wake up in a cave, but you won’t learn to dance there.

    Enlightenment and evolution always seem like personal goals, opportunities to alleviate the burdens of one’s personal ego. Perhaps they can be the goal of a community. Maybe that’s what’s happening here.

    Imagine that.

    • Frank Luke says:

      Hi Josh, re: “Enlightenment and evolution always seem like personal goals, opportunities to alleviate the burdens of one’s personal ego.”

      That seems more like a description of the traditional view of enlightenment, where Evolutionary Enlightenment (EvEn)I believe is the new Enlightenment, so to speak, where there’s more of an acknowledgement of a collective consciousness where a recognition of collectivity of humanity, of us all, is less a personal ego-trip and more seen as a collective effort to raise spiritual consciousness of the whole of humanity.

      This is my understanding of EvEn.

  10. Steven Marsh says:

    Wm. I. Thompson is a cultural historian (& co-founder of Lindisfarne in Scotland, I believe) who has written alot about needing to balance/integrate “ascent” (light, yang, “higher”, etc.) and “descent” (dark, yin, “lower”, etc.). See his At the Edge of History, etc., etc.

    C. G. Jung is also a good source of wisdom re: integrating ‘ego’ & ‘shadow’, etc. See his Modern Man in Search of a Soul. F. Capra (The Turning Point), C. Spretnak (States of Grace) & my Seeking Communion (self-published) are other contributions to personal-societal integration… my personal spiritual focus now is on helping to co-create healthy-sacred-loving community!
    My e-dress: